Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Your own personal Deep Throat

Wasn't it a little deflating to learn that W. Mark Felt is Deep Throat?

I'm a nerd about Nixon, down to his congressional races against Jerry Voorhis and Helen Gahagan Douglas -- the bitchinest California races this side of Lords of Dogtown. The Deep Throat mystery has never interested me much, but I hoped for an O. Henry-type ending, with Deep Throat played by Al Haig (as John Dean and others have concluded), Pat Buchanan (as speculated by Joshua Michael Marshall), or maybe dark horse candidate Diane Sawyer (I chalk that one up to undersexed news-and-porn junkies).

What if it had been William Rehnquist or Gerald Ford? I would have emulated Lords of Dogtown actor Emile Hirsch by shouting, "Punk rock, bro!" and eating Chinese food.

But no. Instead of The Usual Suspects, the ending to this one is more like The Village. I guess that's life. Still, I'm enjoying the moment. Mark Felt, you did a good deed for your country, even if the truth disrupted the fever dreams of one Nixon-obsessed, coleslaw-loving hayseed.