This Message Brought to You By Needles P. Vonnegut

Apparently Babbelfish has been working overtime, because I've been getting a lot of beautifully mistranslated words of inspiration in my spam folder. It's like George W. has authored his own Chicken Soup for the Soul, or getting a new chapter of English as She Is Spoke every morning.

Here are some favorites:

• Some folk want their luck buttered.
  
• I followed his argument with the blank uneasiness which one might feel in the presence of a logical lunatic.
• Bats have no bankers and they do not drink and cannot be arrested and pay no tax and, in general, bats have it made.
• The press is like the air, a chartered libertine.
• I am his Highness dog at Kew pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?
  
• The Metropolis should have been aborted long before it became New York, London or Tokyo.
• It makes small numbers formidable procures success to the weak, and esteem to all.

All this might be true. But I am the cat, and I am here to steal.