You're under arrest!

According to a new federal law, when you annoy people on the Internet, you must disclose your name. If you annoy anonymously, it's a crime. To wit:

Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.

Crunk Raconteur annoyed the bejeezus out of me with his football-related comments. Evil Girl probably has annoyed my gentleman co-blogger during the life of this site. Speaking of him, I was annoyed with the headline he wrote to the post just below this one. He's anonymous, so I consider him a felon as well.

Consider this a citizen's arrest. I hope you all rot in jail, you annoying, anonymous bastards.