One last bit of media bile in 2007

Time Out New York took a real, live ironworker (ooh, so salt-of-the-Earth!) to some fancy restaurants, apparently to measure themselves and the trendspots they applaud against the values of an honest-to-God working-class hero. And not to engage in some holiday-season noblesse oblige, or to affirm the mindless worship of celebri-chefs or the exalted dining salons of the clapping-seal foodies. It's just because, hey, let's see how the other half lives.

Also, he was so cute!

[H]e has a handshake for every busboy we see (he used to be one himself), charms a beer or two out of each bartender we encounter and seems completely unintimidated by his task. He’s also “fucking starving.”

At Jean-Georges, he almost identified bergamot, which shows how his soul is pure. Kind of like how he preferred his sushi at Masa without the soy sauce. Then at Momofuku Ssaam Bar he stumbles and can't finish his "Santa Barbara sea urchin with warm tapioca pearls, shrimp crackers, yuzu whipped tofu, furikake and sel gris."

Oh no! But luckily, our the not-self-loathing-at-all Time Out is there to save the day with a scenester take on real-man food. Here come the pork-belly sandwiches with hoisin, cucumbers and scallions! And of course, Ironworking Donnie loves it!

Donnie proclaims the dish the best of the night: a 9. “That shit was slammin’!” he shouts, and, in celebration, orders another beer.

You know what else is slammin'? My head in a door after reading this!