Thursday, December 06, 2007

This is how it happened

Last Saturday was a fiasco for Michigan athletic director Bill Martin. He was apparently totally unreachable down at his club in Key Largo, Florida, when Les Miles' agent called him, frantically hoping to get an offer for his client now that LSU had upped the ante. When he got back to Michigan, reporters were calling wanting to know why he spent the day sailing. Even the bloggers were mocking him, making it sound as if he'd been enjoying himself when really everything had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

First, Mrs. Martin snapped the bowsprit off their new sloop when she tried to christen it. Then Miles roared past in the new cabin cruiser LSU bought him and the wake nearly knocked everyone off the dock. Then, after Miles was done terrorizing jet-skiers and quintets, he flew up to Atlanta, called a press conference and announced: "I just got head from Amelia Earhart!"

Sources say any counteroffer would have to involve Pancho Barnes.

4 comments:

evil girl said...

poetry.

voidoid said...

*AHEM* Hey flop, nice post.

dmbmeg said...

I'm giggling at the imagery of all this.

Also, as the daughter of a seaman (hey-oh!), I'm quite impressed you know what a sloop is.

Flop said...

I was worried someone would call me out, noting that a cutter rig would be more likely to have a bowsprit. But I didn't want to confuse the landlubbers, who would be wondering why Mrs. Martin was conking their adoptive, self-abusive daughter on the head with a bottle of Moet.