Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Sonnet commemorating a parade in Lower Manhattan, 5 Feb. 2008

Fat-fuck fans in sweatshirts
asking for directions

in accents that make one's ear hurt

from New Jersey inflections.

The shame and horror of New York

is rotten, pockmarked sports teams

and puke-breath fans who get uncorked

whenever they're succeeding.

Mannings, like Sparty's Plaxico

are bastards since the nineties,

whereas Tom Brady's Orange Bowl

win shall be remembered fondly.

Down the street limp obese churls

past trashcans spilled by barfing girls.


dmbmeg said...

whereas Tom Brady's Orange Bowl
win shall be remembered fondly.

Watch yourself.

Cock D said...

Bridge & Tunnel trash have taken over, eh?

Todd said...

That poem touched me in inappropriate places.

CrimeNotes said...

- In a sonnet about vomit, the 2000 Orange Bowl is a reason to "watch" myself?

- B&T were the symptom, not the disease. I've lived in media markets for three big sports towns -- Detroit, Boston and New York -- and while Red Sox fans are my least favorite, the low baseline in New York cuts across all sports.

-- If it touched you inappropriately, I promise that my eyes were closed and it was all by accident.

crimenotes said...

I'll also add that late-90s Red Wings fans were pretty unbearable, and that I have many friends who love the Red Sox. I distinguish them from Red Sox fans in Boston itself, who are the worst of the worst.