Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Oh, just stop it

Shopping is an errand and a chore. It's not an event, and it sure as hell isn't a tradition. Stay home. Sleep in. Spend time with your family, not money.

It's just crap you don't need anyway. Especially not at 4 in the goddamned morning. Sleep in and have breakfast together at 10, over coffee and the hometown paper. If you want to see people back in town, pick up the phone, don't hope to bump into them around dawn, pawing at housewares.

Do you really think this is going to be fun? No one should voluntarily leave their house at that hour. Especially not to bring home a pre-lighted Christmas tree or a sheet set. Quit making this out to be some celebration of the season. It's just an infantile, consumerist mission.

Shopping is not a celebration, it is not a tradition and it is not bonding. Just stop it.

11 comments:

El Rojo said...

Well, thank God for Amazon.com

Tommy O said...

lol! an errand and a chore... i know several women in my life that like to shop just because you don't like or can't find the value or the bonding side to it doesn't mean jack. lighten up, dude.

dmbmeg said...

How can I take out my aggression if not for punching some housewife in the tits for grabbing the last Cabbage Patch Doll?

Isn't that what this season is about?

crimenotes said...

The "Flop" family's biggest holiday tradition is marathon eye-rolling, undertaken while the oldest son babbles pointlessly.

voidoid said...

This post is best enjoyed if you imagine it being read by Dana Carvey's "Cranky Old Man" character from SNL.

Todd said...

I wish online retailers offered Black Friday sales. I'd be all over those.

dmbmeg said...

Voidoid-
Seems like Flop got mauled by Macy's shoppers or something, right?

Or should I say...malled?

Thank you! I'll be here all night!

flop said...

Fuck no. I just hate the idea that shopping is an end in and of itself. People need to stop evaluating themselves based on possessions and purchases.

crimenotes said...

Commie retard. I'd punch you in the gut but it's late and I'm on a lake and the snow is coming down, you huge Commie retard.

Mike Davis is the shit.

dmbmeg said...

Can someone tell me where I can find a Wii anywhere in this god forsaken country?

Sweet jesus it's like the Tickle Me Elmo gift for nerds.

crimenotes said...

I don't know, but I'm fixing to buy my ass a Wii.