Someone please shoot me now

So yesterday, I'm having a rare Sunday not in front of the TV. I see online that the Browns have started rookie quarterback Charlie Frye. I also note that after watching them all season, and seeing very little of former Michigan superstar Braylon Edwards, Frye has found his training camp roommate twice for touchdowns.

A light goes off in my head, and whenever that happens, we're not far from calamity. Sure enough, I take advantage of my online-ness to tend to my fantasy football team, which is without much pop at the receiver position since Terrell Owens ate those three adorable kitties and then stole money from orphans while kicking handicapped people in the nuts or whatever. So remembering how much Frye likes to throw to his buddy Braylon, I figured I'd take a chance on him.

As soon as I made the move, I felt this funny feeling in my stomach. Kind of like that little twinge in your gut you get when you start reaching for the garbage disposal switch when you mean to turn the light on so you can see where that spoon you're reaching for got to after it slid down the drain. I shrugged it off and took a nap.

I woke up and read that Edwards landed awkwardly on his knee and felt a dreaded "pop." now comes news that he tore his ACL and could be out most of next season.

I hate my life.

UPDATE: A friend just e-mailed this. Near the end is a report from inside a local bar where Browns fans watch their dreams get stomped on.