Part of an occasional Cole Slaw Blog series.
Alex Kuczynski's preening "Critical Shopper" is on hiatus. Guest-consuming for her is William Norwich, who seems intent on turning the fixture into the Stylin' Section Men's Grille _ just as soon as he airs all his grievances about movies and the MTA strike and those money-grubbing cabbies and women who don't look suitably cell phone-knowledgeable because they're, well girly.
Yeah, it's going to be like that.
You can almost smell the Brooks Brothers Royall Lime in Norwich's piece. He could be Jack Cafferty's acerbic squash partner. Before we even get in the door at Worth & Worth, we've also decried the decline of the modern gentleman, the blurring of status boundaries and "decaffeinating our ascents."
I have no idea what that means. Maybe I need to "caffeinate my ass" and it'll be clear.
Then we get in the door of the joint, and it's easy to see he studied Alex's shtick. Names are dropped, including one that you'd know if you were the right kind of person (see? status boundaries aren't all gone, Bill). Anyway, if I had read about cool men's hats from Thrillist or some source with some remaining goddamn credibility, I might be kind of amused at the whole haberdashery thing. Who among us hasn't wondered what it'd be like if we all still sported fedoras, homburgs and the occasional porkpie or bowler?
Or even a Stetson. If my first idea for Halloween costume doesn't work out this year, I may have to go with "Hetero Cowboy" if only for the opportunity it presents for tipping my hat to ladies and pistol-whipping my co-blogger. Also, I'm planning on renting a player piano for my party _ so everything will be of a piece.
Where was I? Oh, right? Well, at least we weren't subjected to A-Kucz this week. As long as we don't read anything about swimming naked down at the country club, I'm straight.
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3 comments:
"I'm straight" in this case expressing my acceptance of whoever this new guy is writing the Grumbly Shopper or whatever. Not to express my sexuality, which coincidentally, is also straight, but not necessary to add to that sentence.
i'm sorry, but seizing the opportunity to pistol-whip your co-blogger is going to put a serious dent in the street cred of your planned "hetero" cowboy costume.
Actually, I think assaulting Crimenotes would up my street cred. Especially if it curtailed his recent propensity to attack innocent partygoers with citrus.
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