Thursday, April 27, 2006

Ain't no party like a frat party with, uh, a member of Congress

I would now consider voting for that man in the tie.

Scandal-plagued Republican Rep. John Sweeney recently unveiled an excellent new campaign tactic -- getting drunk in a college town and showing up at a frat party.

Maybe I'm jaded by overmanaged politicians, but I find this kindasorta likeable.

I mean, not every day. Not by a president, a defense secretary, or a secretary of state, because those fuckers either have a finger on the button, or could get called in the middle of the night by Vladimir Putin. But by a member of Congress from upstate New York? Once in awhile? Maybe the world would be a better place if Congressmen spent more time drinking with frat boys.

So long as they're not date-raping, fancy, pretty-boy frat boys -- the kind that like SoCo and lime ads and gangbang a Tri Delt only to deny the inherent homoeroticism.

Congressmen should only party with the dirty-cap, beer-pong frat boys who throw shit off the roof and listen to the 2006 equivalent of DMB.

Here's how the incident was reported in Union College's student newspaper, The Concordiensis:
The New York politician was barraged with a multitude of political questions and lighthearted comments from Union students when he arrived at the party. His attitude was described as cordial, and Sweeney was observed joking around with the students, sometimes even using profanity. It was reported that one student approached the Congressman with drug paraphernalia and asked to take a picture. The Congressman refused.
Refused? I once refused such an offer from Marc Price, who played Skippy on TV's Family Ties. To this day, it's my deepest regret.

But blogging over at TPM Muckraker, writer Fusty O'Crustyman observes:
A reportedly inebriated Rep. John Sweeney (R-NY) took a break from kissing babies last Friday to hug some frat boys. I wonder if they're of drinking age?
Clearly, O'Crustyman never went to college. And never enjoyed himself. Ever.

There are too many lame-ass, churchy, bug-up-the-ass Republicans. I want more P.J. O'Rourke and Andy Ferguson Republicans. Dudes with gin blossoms and stories about blacking out in the '70s. Those are people we can work with.

John Sweeney is a dumbass for different reasons. To all of the Fusty O'Crustymans sneering at this -- we've got a war on, assholes, and enough corrupt cronyism to make a member of the Politburo blush. No need to bash on a dude who's hanging out with real people and reliving better days. Hopefully, he remembered to shout, "I am a golden god!" before belly flopping into a kiddie pool filled with beer.

Drink up, John Sweeney. We'll fight it out in the morning over black coffee and fried eggs.

5 comments:

Flop said...

You know, I just want a president who'd be a good guy to have a beer with ...

CrimeNotes said...

If he were drinking more and bombing less, we'd all be better off.

waterloo said...

I remember the Skippy Incident on Jefferson Street.

CrimeNotes said...

The Skippy Incident must never be forgotten.

waterloo said...

That's it; "The Skippy Incident" is the name of the new rock band I'm just now starting.

Not to be confused with jam band, The String Cheese Incident.