Wednesday, April 12, 2006

King Hippo is down for the count

In the painful 2005 football season, Flop and I often enjoyed the mealy-mouth, spazzed-out stylings of ABC college football personality Aaron Taylor. We nicknamed him King Hippo for his resemblance to the character from Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, and used Tivo to watch his facial expressions in slow motion. The King Hippo nickname was affectionate. Sort of.

Taylor is resigning from his commenting gig, and EDSBS sends him out in style:

To Aaron Taylor fans: A Valediction Against Mourning.

Thy call from television screen
Did rattle the tables and chairs;
The eight-buttoned suits and bald pate sheen
Did afright the eyes and ee-yars.

Thy mouth was ere slight askew;
Comments, cliched and hoary.
Thy waistline, waxing, grew and grew;
Your feature pieces: wan and bore-y.

So lunkheaded Aaron, we bid you well
In life’s great frothing pool;
Should education prove to be hell
You’ve always got law school.

King Hippo, we barely knew ye.

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