Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I want to headbutt you

I would watch this sport.

It disturbs me that the only interesting moment in the World Cup is the subject of controversy.

Some Frenchman did a headbutt and you'd think the world is coming to an end.

Boo-fuckin'-hoo.

Who among us does not love to headbutt?

It's one of my favorite ways to annoy my friends via head. It's more intrusive than petting their hair but puts you at less risk of disease than trying to lick them. It's hygenic, intrusive and never fails to get a reaction.

What's not to love?

In football and hockey, fuckers get concussions. They slam to the ground and bang heads all the time.

I grew up liking headbutts. I've enjoyed them ever since I was a professional wrestling fan in third grade. I no longer like pro wrestling. But you know what I do like? Headbutts.

Legalize them, and maybe I'll like soccer, too.

2 comments:

Crunk Raconteur said...

See, I have a whole theory about the headbutting. I mean, I'd probably have a reaction if somebody called my recently-hospitalized mother a terrorist whore as well.

Would I headbutt him? Probably not. I'd probably punch him.

But then again, I'm an American. We specialize in sports where you are allowed to use your hands.

In a soccer culture, however...

CrimeNotes said...

I don't care about soccer culture.

I just want to headbutt people.