Thursday, August 10, 2006

But hey, on the other hand, at least Americans can't be frightened

TERROR PLOT!

If this is a legitimate incident and not more ginned-up wolf-crying (and I'll suspect the former since it came from the UK), thanks go to the Brits for saving our pussy selves.

This is a country of pussies, and really, it's time for our precious pussy asses to revise the last lines of the national anthem to "the land of the pussies and the home of the pussies." For a country that views itself as exceptionalist, we certainly are exceptional at shitting ourselves every time a dozen dudes with a chemistry set step out of their flat.

Watching 10 minutes of cable news this morning, I learned that the Dow was down 30 points based on terror fears; that the price of oil is down because the markets expect bombed airlines to prompt lower fuel demands; that I'm going to be chugging saline solution to make it through security; and that Tom Cruise's offspring is called Tomkitten.

In other words: America's economy can be undermined by a group of Arab Brits smaller than my sixth-grade science class, and celebrity gossip stays retarded even when we're all about to die.

Lastly, for a bunch of dudes who fancy themselves as Churchillian, the President and his cronies sure do like to put on frilly pink dresses and hide giggling under their desks every time someone says the contemporary equivalent of Luftwaffe. Stiffen your upper lips, you fucking assholes.

2 comments:

copyranter said...

And I think it should start "Oh say can we pee, something something our pants..."

CrimeNotes said...

From the Times:

"Passengers arriving at the airport were given leaflets telling them what was banned from carry-on bags, including liquids or gels of any size — shampoo, suntan lotion, toothpaste, hair gel or anything similar. Passengers with beverages were told to drink them before boarding."

Thankfully, they haven't disrupted our way of life.

Courage, bitches.