Tuesday, August 15, 2006

To whoever sent me the Samuel L. Jackson Snakes on a Plane voicemail

Why, thank you, Hoss.

I don't know who you are, but I have my guesses.

I sat in the airport listening to voicemail and checking my Blackberry. Apparently, several people either forgot or never knew that I was on vacation and outside the reach of wireless signals. Amid drunk-dials, it was nice to be instructed not to paint my toe-nails again and to drive my cheap imitation sports car to the movie theater.

O! Snakes on a plane

The most contagious viral marketing campaign yet, a preview of future marketing campaigns to come, clever just this one time, but goddamn this shit is going to wear out very quickly. A year or two from now there will be voicemails about the equivalents of that douchebag John Tucker movie, text messages about the Hanso Foundation, and cryptic e-mail subscriptions for some as-yet-unknown a Coen Brothers movie.

Meanwhile, the voicemail you sent me about snakes on a motherfucking plane was trumped somewhat by toothpaste on a motherfucking plane, the screening procedures for which appears to be overstated by most major news outlets.

I will take my motherfucking toothpaste on the motherfucking plane and I will promote good oral hygiene and then I will spray motherfucking silly string all over the motherfucking plane and by the time of the emergency landing and my anti-plaque rendition to Guantanamo I will have cured motherfucking gingevitis and strung the passengers silly.

2 comments:

.... said...

blogs are trendy, stupid and a shitty way for people to convey their opinions to one another. Why don't you sit down with your friends and have a discussion instead of putting your thoughts up there that no one wants to see. I was searching for something important and this came up in the first few hits. Stop wasting my time

CrimeNotes said...

Yeah, there's a lot of important stuff happening in Madison these days.

Stop wasting my time.