CSB Hot List!

Because it's almost 100 degrees at LaGuardia as I type this, and this heat saps the energy from what few brain cells I use for critical thinking and the like, I hereby present a Cole Slaw Blog list of shit that's relatively hot. Below you can find a list of items and their relative hotness expressed in factors of today. For example, something approximately twice as hot as today would get a factor of 2.0. You get the picture. Anyway, on to the list of stuff and its hotness in factors of sweltering August days in New York :

• A big wad of wasabi you wouldn't eat for less than a cool hundy: 1.49
• Magma erupting from the core of the Earth: 0.80
• Hot 99.7 FM, KHHK, Yakima, Washington: 0.997
  
• Summer Fucking Sanders: infinity plus one
• Gila Bend, Arizona: 1.0 (but it's a dry 1.0)
• Kennedy Airport: 0.98
• Kennedy from MTV: 0.08
• Zooey Deschanel, armed to the teeth: 3.14
• hotornot.com : somewhere between 0.01 and 0.1
• Appalachian State: 1.0 cubed.
• Kari Byron, a.k.a. the cute girl from Mythbusters, on shark patrol:
  
• That video of Bobby Abreu's former betrothed having sex on a Spanish reality show: 0.75 if you don't speak enough Spanish to translate the dirty talk from a former Miss Universe, 1.5 if you do.
• Zooey Deschanel, auditioning for a jugband: 5.38
• Crenshaw melon, right out of the fridge: - 1.0, perfectly cool
• Cool Papa Bell: -2.0
  
• The new trend of Dumpster fellatio, according to The New York Times Thursday Styles Section, June 5, 2008, in an article about hot new outdoor activities for the summer: 3.36
• Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights: 2.99
• Caliente, Nevada: 0.84
• Rebelde: 4.59
• Kate Winslet, giving me a look that can only be interpreted as 'Let's pork': 27.39