Tuesday, September 05, 2006

This post is almost totally pants

During my highly eventful weekend, I did lots of stuff and had lots of thoughts. None of them deserves its own post (and believe me, we've set the bar very, very low when it comes to single-post deservedness here), but here they are combined into one omnibus post (with subheads instead of bullet points, just because.)

Books ... check 'em out

I'm about 75-80 percent through The Corrections, having resisted giving in to the buzz years ago. I picked it up because I was intrigued by positive comments and its presence on my benefactor's bookshelf. I'm finding it a worthy read, although I'm sure there are reams of criticism out there about the way Franzen views female characters (To wit: as if through a slot which he has paid 25 cents to make open). This is not to discount that criticism, only to say it's the only really noticeable flaw so far. Of course, if it ends with a rupture in a holding tank at the St. Jude Bic factory submerging the town and all the characters, I might be a trifle cranky.

Speaking of things my co-blogger has read and liked, I also finally found a copy of Postwar, by Tony Judt, this weekend. I lugged it around all day yesterday, because I didn't want to have to wait any longer. I'm looking forward to this one.

Don't stop believin' ...

I attended a Power Ballad BBQ this weekend on a rooftop in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. The view was incredible, the beer cold and the music ... well, it was everything you expect from a power-ballad-themed cookout. There were mullet wigs, a freight elevator with an ominous warning about a flooded shaft chalked on the walls, and seaplanes buzzing the tower, as it were, before splashing down on the East River.

People ... they're the worst

I spent most of the weekend feeling strangely misanthropic. I don't know if it's all the Armani Exchange T-shirts I've seen on the Upper East Side; the woman in front of me at Starbucks who took five minutes asking the guy behind the counter the price of every bag of beans and every mug, despite his repeated and polite reminders that there was a price tag on each. (Although it occured to me later that she could have had a vision problem, and that I was probably just being a surly prick); or reading all the quotes from Republicans over the weekend about how Democrats want to appease all terrorists by giving them the Sudetenland, but I'm sick of it. I like it better when I basically like people, even if I think most of them are stupid. Also, the sentence before the last one was ridiculous.

It's about time

Michigan's defense looked awesome this weekend. Yes, I know it was just Vanderbilt, but they were not a bit like last season's unit (predictable, passive, pushovers). Shawn Crable was night-and-day different, while the linebackers no longer treated the notion of contain as something to be debated abstractly, like the Schopenhaurian notion of the Self vis-a-vis that of Kierkegaard, but instead decided to hit people and make them fall down.

Also, everyone is grumbling about Henne. To be honest, I thought he was fine, save for some really dumb passes. But one of those actually converted a 3rd-and-long on the way to Michigan's last touchdown. But fans always bitch about the quarterback, so I'll just discount it unless he has another game like he had against Wisconsin or Notre Dame last season.

The rest of the rest (i.e. where I get all Larry King on your ass)

Was it just me, or was every college football TV commentator terrible this weekend? I heard Gottfriend and Pam Ward were bad, but I think that's to be expected. Bob Davie actually called Brady Quinn "courageous" for getting sacked a lot against Purdue four years ago and Chris Spielman actually sounded like he was about to start making mouth sounds in the booth; "And Shawn Crable comes around Woodley here on the stunt and _ 'DOOZH!' _he just blows up Nickson. Woo-ee! I bet that makes him feel like ding-dong, ding-dong, ah-OOO-gah! Great play, Crabes. Just great. WOO! Roll Tide!" would have made perfect sense coming from his mouth. ... You know what's just not funny? Typing Jeff Samardzija's name by just mashing the keyboard because, ha ha, it's so funny that his name is difficult to spell. Yes, we get it. Big laffs. And for the record, it was just as annoying when Bill Simmons did it with Ben Roethlisberger. Both players were or are genuine stars; it doesn't hurt anyone to look up how to spell their name. ... I've been going to get bagels every day at the nearest Tal Bagels outpost. For my money, it doesn't get any better than walnut-raisin cream cheese on a fresh, plain bagel. Nummy. ... My arms are covered in green and yellow bruises from moving. I feel kind of like a badass, but mostly just like someone who wrestled his shit down from and back up to another third-floor walkup. ... The Browns are probably going to go 6-10 this season. I can already feel the anguish. I'd like one of those wins to come against Pittsburgh, and a couple more against Cincinnati and Baltimore, two overrated teams. Especially Baltimore. ... My faith in most Democrats to not fall for GOP bullshit between here and November is actually lower than my faith in most Americans not to fall for it. Conversely, I would not be surprised if some unprecentented scare-mongering tactics are used. ... If I had a cat, its breath would totally smell like cat food.

79 comments:

Anonymous said...

based on saturday's frat party offerings, it would appear that power ballads are the next generation's "brown-eyed girl." interesting, and a little melancholy.

Anonymous said...

Oh, that is kind of sad. I just can't see girls hearing Whitesnake and getting all wistful and wanting to make out. What I can see is this: Freshman guys playing air guitar while their friends laugh ... freshman girls deciding that it's a marvelous night not for a moondance, but for Panchero's.

Anonymous said...

i don't know -- journey is probably a good soundtrack for the ill-advised hookup. i'm sure the beta house ("beach volleyball and date rape!") is all over this.

Anonymous said...

Mmmm Panchero's. Crunk, I'll split it with you!?!?

Our bling encrusted friend would lead you to believe that nights for moondances (depending on who's making the offer) are inversely proportional to panchero's. But I'm not buying it.

Anonymous said...

Yes yes, we all know I can't handle the Panch...

Anonymous said...

I thought you had spent the past 10 years building up a tolerance to the Panch, much like Westley did with ioacane powder.

Anonymous said...

flop, brilliant.

Actually, both halves of the burrito were poisoned. Crunk fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian (or German as the case my be) when death is on the line!

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