Sunday, September 10, 2006

Thoughts on psychics and pies

Four of us were watching the Penn State-Notre Dame game on Saturday afternoon. The game had turned boring by the second half. We had to keep ourselves entertained, so we discussed emus for awhile. (Flop does good emu impressions.) Then, I fell asleep in my chair.

I couldn't have dozed off for more than five minutes. I didn't miss anything in the game, but when I woke up, something had gone wrong.

"What were you guys just talking about?" I asked, slightly hostile.

Nothing, they said.

"Were you talking about birds or chickens?"

"Nah, just emus," one of them said.

I explained that while I was napping, it occurred to me that a person could bring a pie or a cake to a psychic, and that the psychic would become upset. Pies and cakes, like many baked goods, have eggs as an ingredient. If you brought a psychic a product made with eggs, the psychic could tell you about the chicken that that egg could have grown up to be.

The rest of us see a cake or pie, but to a psychic, desserts are the ghosts of chickens who never had the chance to live, and the cheeping that they hear must overwhelm them.

8 comments:

winston said...

crimenotes: are you high?

CrimeNotes said...

You don't have to be high to appreciate how stressful it must be for psychics to confront baked goods.

General Bird said...

CrimeNotes, you've napped into an explanation for the infamous Key Lime incident at the Romanian consulate, '91, long since blamed on Gypso-fascism.

Ryan said...

(raising one eye brow)

Um, yeah.

evil girl said...

that out-weirds even flop's usual antics.

copyranter said...

the connection's there, I know. I'm just not open enough to feel it.

CrimeNotes said...

Many of you will not be surprised to learn that this was the second-stupidest conversation I had on Saturday. Flop and I spent the better part of an hour debating the nuances of what World War II would have been like as a college football season: who would play the U.S., Britain, Russia, China, etc. on one side; Japan, Germany, Italy, Spain on another; who is Czechoslovakia and Belgium and the Netherlands, and whether our analogies should factor geographical proximity or ineffable institutional characteristics. You may be hearing more on this subject.

Flop said...

I tried to read some of "Postwar" by Tony Judt (a recommendation from my co-blogger) last night, and all I could think about was Midwestern states expelling their ethnic Ohioan populations after the Fiesta Bowl.

It was incredibly stupid, which is why you are, in fact, likely to hear more on this.