Monday, May 28, 2007

Please allow me to introduce myself.

"Welcome to my social function. Thanks for coming. Let's French."

"Welcome to my social function. Thanks for coming. Let's French."

"Nice to meet you! I'm Clarksville's leading pornographer and very controversial in my own right. Quick, penetrate my ear, before Chris Batty throws a fucking stapler at me."

"Oh hi. I'm an itinerant astronaut from Missouri. Tomorrow is my fiftieth birthday, but I just found these really sweet alien cocoons in the pool. They're having a positive effect. We should totally go swimming later."

"The pleasure is all mine. Don't you love the Big Ten? Pardon me while I stick straws in my eyes and fall down."

"Good to see you again. I've been stalking you near your workplace, LOLzy."

"Hmmm, yes. Please pose for a photo. My britches, they're odorless, I swear."

"Cheers dude. I see through your bullshit."

12 comments:

amish said...

Hahaha. Well played, sir. Well played.

crimenotes said...

Phew. I was worried that it sounded meanspirited, but I didn't want to write a straightforward evening recap wherein I linked to other bloggers.

dmbmeg said...

I really need to lay off the booze. I mean, straws in my nose? Really? Did I ask you to pull my finger too?

crimenotes said...

You didn't ask me to pull your finger, but you kept touching my nipples, which was hottt.

Betty said...

I am REALLY SORRY about O'leary, he fucking tries to french everyone. It's really out of control.

crimenotes said...

This post totally blew the lid off Frenching.

Midwesterner in NYC said...

If only I really were a 50 year old astronaut....sigh. Only 17 years left to make that a reality, but sunday night was the first step...

DrunkBrunch said...

I tipped a 40 (of Pepto Bismol) for y'all from my hospital bed. I hate missing social functions, dammit.

crimenotes said...

Mostly, I'm just glad that I behaved well enough that nobody tried to punch me.

MonkeyPants said...

Frenching? Damn. I left too early.

Flop said...

Indeed you did.

Alas, considering my level of intoxication when I got home (and when I got up later), I probably should have left earlier.

Todd said...

Indeed, that was one fun evening. I'm looking forward to not remembering more!