Thursday, October 11, 2007

Are you a fan or what?

In the past week or so, I've heard a lot of people sniffing that the National League Championship Series is going to be "boring" "uninteresting" and "the NLCS that fell in the forest."

Look, I know everyone likes being beaten about the head and shoulders by Fox about the Cubs' miseries (yay, voodoo!), the Phillies notoroious history (Rocky! Cheesesteaks! They booed Santa Claus!), but if you actually, as you claim, like baseball, why wouldn't you watch?

Feel the Ubaldo. Prepare to fall out of your chair when Troy Tulowitzki guns down one of the Diamondbacks' perky young rookies at first on a ball in the hole. Watch Manny Corpas come on and mow down the heart of the order with two men on.

Meanwhile, on the other side, you can enjoy watching a true ace like Brandon Webb start for the Diamondbacks tonight. And then you can check out their lineup, which has more young, talented hitters in it than anyone since the 1994 Indians. Chris Young, Stephen Drew, Conor Jackson. Alberto Callaspo is even kind of an interesting player. And then there's Eric Byrnes, who would be a household name if he played in New York, and Tony Clark -- one of two former University of Arizona varsity basketball players still in the postseason. I think we all know who the other one is.

If the action on the field doesn't do it for you, can play the game "Who has a better baseball name?" My nominees are Augie Ojeda and Yorvit Torrealba.

But seriously, no one who considers themselves a baseball fan should complain about this. I mean, think about it: This is a championship series free of hackneyed, pre-fab storylines, fawning over superstars or league-average players who are short and white (i.e. "gritty.") This is what every baseball fan should want -- the announcers are going to be forced to focus on the game, and not on which local celebrities are in the stands. (Look! Bill Murray! And there's Jim Belushi. Hey, there's Mumia Abu-Jamal?)

If you're complaining that this NLCS isn't up to your standards, starfucker, I think it's time to re-assess your baseball fandom. Seriously, just stop whining, go spend the next week or so watching E! and VH1 and leave us baseball fans to our game.


Crunk Raconteur said...

I dunno, I kind of liked ESPN's attempted storyline this morning, the Rockies trying to avenge their loss. Their only loss in living memory...

Good times, and go D'bags (I want no part of the Rox in the World Series)!

MonkeyPants said...

What do you mean "Yay Voodoo" -- best not be cursing my cubbies....