In 19th century France, there was a cobbler named Sole. He was a widower (his wife died of whooping cough) who, as a single father, struggled to raise his daughter, Viola. Sole liked being a cobbler, but the death of his wife made him lonely.
One day, a troupe of gypsies passed through the village. One of the gypsies caught his eye, with her rosy cheeks and heaving bosom. Her name was Soleil, and it turned out that she wasn't a gypsy at all. She was an alewife. She explained to Sole that as a girl, her parents had been eaten by bears. The gypsies found her abandoned. They took pity on her, and raised her as their own. The gypsies had a harsh life, what with being the victims of discrimination and all, but Soleil loved them -- she'd never forget all that they did for her.
Sole and Soleil fell in love. They had a large wedding that combined gypsy culture and the traditions of Sole's French village. Soleil took care of Viola, and Viola was pleased to have a new mother.
One day it turned out that Soleil wasn't a woman -- she was a fish. She explained to Sole that she hadn't wanted to tell him. Local prejudice against gypsies already was difficult to overcome, let alone the stigma of marriage to a fish.
Sole told her that he didn't care. She was a good woman, and if she were a fish, he could deal with that.
Eventually, Sole became sick. Years of eating cheese and French meats had damaged his heart. Soleil was devastated. The village doctor said that the only thing that could save Sole was an immediate and overwhelming dose of Omega 3 fatty acids.
There was only one thing that Soleil could do. While Sole slept, she went to the local fish market. To save Sole, she would be sliced into pieces of fish and fed to him, so that he could have the Omega 3 acids that he needed to live.
When Sole woke from restless sleep, the village doctor was at his bedside, weeping. He fed Sole the fish that was his wife.
Sole lived for many more years. He never knew what happened to Soleil. He always assumed that she couldn't deal with his illness and had slipped into the river to be with her own kind. Little did he know that Soleil sacrificed of herself so that he could live.
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10 comments:
Wow, just wow. Is that a true story?
Completely, totally true.
Wait a minute here.
Does this mean you just ate Flop?
dmbmeg -- I am not an anadromous, oily member of the shad family now, am I?
can i have some of your drugs? i kid. i can only assume that my poor SAT score (math only) is preventing me from understanding this.
You resemble a member of the anadromous, oily shad family, except that your hair is all fucked up.
Blythe: Get high on life.
Wait a second...marriage to a fish? Is this anything like the man-on-dog action that Rick Santorum has been warning me about?
oh yes. good idea. i would also suggest flax seed oil.
i cant tell if you were on drugs when you wrote this, or i am on drugs reading this. existential crisis.
my favorite part was the superfluous violet character.
She's in there so you don't feel too bad for Sole in the end. He unknowingly ate his wife, but he'll always have his daughter.
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