Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Programming Note: The lists of 57

Late last week, I was complaining to Flop about the new chat function in gmail. IM bothers me. I feel like I'm taking a timed essay, I can't focus on anything in the background, I second-guess every word, time spills away. Hate it.

A couple days later I was expounding about how Gawker embodies all that's wrong with the internet, and realized that I'm a Nineteenth Century man. I came up with a list of 57 other things that I can barely navigate yet are unavoidable in 2006.

I liked the concept. I came up with a list of 57 uncool things that I like, and then started coming up with many, many other lists. They will be published here in due time.

Fifty-seven is a beautiful number for a list. It is attainable, but takes effort. It's small enough that you can exercise discretion on what belongs. It's a perfect number. It's the quantum of Heinz varieties. I love it. If it were on the Roulette wheel, I would always bet 57.

I am going to post 57 lists of 57 things, totaling 3,249 entries.

It's an ambitious project -- the most ambitious project in the history of all blogs.

When I'm done, it will be a towering achievement. Those of you who read my first entry and thought that it was curmudgeonly or arbitrarily contrarian will soon feel humiliated, and decades from now, lying on your deathbed with The Doors' "Morrison Hotel" blasting in the background, y0u will turn, watery-eyed, to your great-grandson, and whisper in a scarcely audible but deeply dramatic voice, "I was there from the beginning."

3 comments:

evil girl said...

maybe you and flop need to spend some time apart.

doble entendre said...

I believe this violates the Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act. Please remove this posting.

CrimeNotes said...

E.G.: We are spending time apart. I'm too busy with lists to do anything else.

D.E.: I don't recognize the legitimacy of those acts and therefore am engaged in civil disobedience.