Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Something about monkeys

Editor's Note: Commentor Evil Girl wrote a couple weeks ago complaining about the lack of "irrelevant" posts since Flop left for Europe. When Evil Girl speaks, we listen. She's been a friend of mine for about a decade, and despite my attempts to be a good influence, she and Flop had a dangerous liaison late in college. Also, she's been known to castrate guys who don't do what she says. This is why Flop can sing soprano. Last week she submitted the following post. It was written e.e. cummings style, so I've formatted it to be a poem. I don't exactly understand it, but it sure is in the spirit of Flop. I present Evil Girl:
flop called the other evening
he was drunk in a phone booth
recently befriended by
the british equivalent of crimenotes while
doing his wash

at the time he suggested he hadn't
posted anything of late because
he feared the writing equivalent of
"come look at this neat log i left in the loo"
alas the derth of irreverant musings
and crenshaw melon

in flop's honor and absence,
crimenotes agreed to
let me write the following:


this weekend the discovery channel aired
what is perhaps the greatest interpretation of shakespeare
ever produced
using monkeys

monkeys may even have typed it

romeo and juliet: a monkey's tale

it's not scheduled to air again anytime soon
god willing there is a blackmarket dvd

there was a monkey juliet
a monkey romeo
monkey tension
and monkey romance

but more than anything
these monkeys had balls

gigantically disproportional balls

i wish i could provide you a drawing

it would be one-third balls
and two-thirds monkey


Clement Attlee said...

So THAT's why you called him MonkeyBoy.

CrimeNotes said...

That was Evil Girl's nickname, not mine.

evil girl said...

flop's original nickname was monkey boy because, as we all know too well, he has a tendancy to scratch himself a lot, and not because he has huge balls.

Tommy O said...

i thought he was called that because he likes to throw shit...

CrimeNotes said...

Who wants to bet that Clement Attlee is Flop pretending to be a third party for reasons of self-aggrandizement? Just like him these days to appropriate the name of a British PM.

Blair Force One said...

Yes, you've unlocked my subterfuge. Gosh, why didn't I think of something more subtly clever, like Lord Beaverbrook or John Major or even Romano Prodi.