Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Flop's guide to the New York Primary

Chapter 1: Registration

If you haven't registered or filled out a change-of-address form, you're going to need to do this. I started off by downloading the form from the New York state website. But then I saw people in the subway registering people. So I filled out the form and she gave me two Obama stickers.

The deadline's on Friday, so I suggest you get on this. If you happen to find a cute, earnest college student type with red hair and brown eyes to mail your forms for you, then you can consider it kind of a bonus.

Next week: Choosing a candidate.


CrimeNotes said...

I hope this becomes a regularly series of advice columns about civic life. I can't wait for tax form season! Tell me more!

Crunk Raconteur said...

Dear Flop,

I am considering some upcoming international travel. How far in advance should I renew my passport?

CrimeNotes said...

Dear Flop,

I'm thinking about giving my teenage daughter a credit card in order to build her credit history and teach her about responsible spending. Do you think this is a good idea? Is a $500 spending limit too high? She works part-time at the Gap, is a good student (National Honor's Society), and will get her license this spring. Am I being a good parent or making a mistake?


Parent in Mineola

overtaxed said...

Dear Flop,

I am scared that my husband and I are going to get hit hard this tax season by the alternative minimum tax. Do you have any advice?

Also, what are the benefits of a Roth IRA?

people's court said...

Dear Flop,

Unfortunately, I will be heading to small claims court on Friday due to a dispute with my neighbor, who's son backed an SUV into my fence, which knocked it down and ruined a significant chunk of my wife's rose garden. I have some photos, etc., but I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing. Any advice for a first-timer?

dmbmeg said...

Dear Flop,

How do I know what form of birth control is right for me?

Wait, that isn't an inquiry to a civic duty. OK, maybe it is if you are a Spears.

thorny said...

Dear Flop,

Can you direct me to a website where there are forms to extend the deadline for filing a tax return? I'm recently divorced and will be spending the next few months backpacking in Europe, so realistically I won't be filing before May.



flop said...

As soon as possible; 4-6 months would be ideal, but there are ways to expedite the process is you have purchased tickets; yes, no, good parent; I am not a qualified tax professional, so unfortunately I can't help you, but Roth IRAs are the tits for people with the right circumstances; make sure you take a crap before your trial is called. Pro se litigants rarely get the courtesy of bathroom breaks; zip-top bags, saran wrap and the boxes from VHS tapes all are well-thought-of alternatives;

marshall said...

Dear Flop,

I live in Staten Island and consider it deeply unfair that Manhattan is the only borough that has daily trash pick-up. Where should I write to complain? Thanks in advance.

Flop said...

Marshall, you may write to:

My Ass
c/o My Balls
197 Licknuts Lane #69
New York, NY 10032

P.S. Note the Zip code starting with 100, not some fag number like they have in Staten Island.


CrimeNotes said...

That was uncalled for.

Apologize to Marshall immediately and retract your abrasive broadside.

dmbmeg said...

Have another beer, Flop!

dmbmeg said...

CrimeNotes is more pissed his address is on the internet for all the world to see rather than by Flop's abrasive comment.

CrimeNotes said...

You're the only person who likes him.

dmbmeg said...

That might be true.

crimenotes said...

Now I feel mean.