Tuesday, January 08, 2008

MmmBarack, bop ba doo bop, bidee bob ba doo bop, bop ba doo I don't like Sen. Clinton very much.

This site will live-blog the New Hampshire primaries for at least some part of this evening. I know this interests no one but me, my co-blogger and one of our readers, but really, when has this site ever cared about pleasing you? Not since Tits Week!

I spent much of today feeling grateful for Howard Dean's old campaign and thinking about why Bill Clinton is a blight. Maybe you'll have that to anticipate, as well.

Stay tuned!


7:31 p.m.: When Tom Brokaw and Tim Russert share camera time with Chris Matthews, I imagine they think the same things I do when I'm having a conversation with "Flop." Something like, "How did I end up in the company of this excitable, rambling madman, and what can I do to extract myself?"

7:42 p.m.: Exclusive scoop! Commenter Oops Pow Surprise has reported in the comments (on this site!) that Hillary Clinton currently is behind by 70 percent. For its part, MSNBC just spent several minutes talking about crying, when crying is appropriate, etc.

7:52 p.m.: I've revised the headline per dmbmeg's suggestion. This is an interactive process tonight, you see. Speak up and let your voice be heard.

7:59 p.m.: MSNBC promises exit poll results at the top of the hour. I'd love to put this liveblog to a rest by about 9 or 9:30. I bought a PS3 over the weekend and would like to turn my attention to Assassin's Creed.

8:01 p.m.: Oh, yikes. Too close to call between Clinton and Obama. That is not what I expected or wanted. Uh ... huh.

8:10 p.m.: Not wanting to repeat my experience in 2004, when it took me months to get behind John Kerry, I've been very careful this year not to get too passionate about one candidate. I'll support any of the Democrats, and I logically know this, but after Obama won on Thursday my passions went up and I looked forward to the Clintons disappearing as soon as possible. I'm not excited about the possibility or reorienting.

8:13 p.m.: MSNBC calls the Republican race for McCain. I've spent most of the primary season steeling myself for a Clinton-Romney election, but an Obama-McCain or Obama-Huckabee election seems like a much more grown-up process.

8:23 p.m.: The MSNBC panel is agreeing that the primary season has been "perfect" for Rudy Giuliani. He is presently running a distant fourth in New Hampshire and lost badly in Iowa. The mind reels.

8:34 p.m.: In news that actually matters, I am not happy with Rich Rodriguez's effort to chase Ryan Mallet out of town and to essentially predict Mario Manningham's departure when retention appears to be an open question. I like my coaches to shut the fuck up in public, please. I'm trying to be positive and keep an open mind, I swear, but he isn't making it easy.

8:44 p.m.: Nothing happening, so I will briefly pimp a blog I like that I don't see cited many other places. Any time I miss the Midwest, it's a good antidote.

8:54 p.m.: Outside of the Bush family, no one in American politics is more insufferable than Mitt Romney.

8:55 p.m.: I have a sickening case of Clinton fatigue already. The whole thing is like a nightmare on re-run. That idiot Ann Lewis is back, speaking for the campaign on MSNBC. In her Iowa speech, the camera showed Madeline Albright, Wes Clark and Bill Clinton in the background, and I had this sick flopping feeling in my gut. All that's missing was Janet Reno and Dick Morris and some wretched betrayal of Lani Guinier. I keep trying to persuade myself that I can support her. It does not feel good at all.

9:11 p.m.: This is going to be my last evening of live-blogging. Right now, I feel a lot like this:


Thankfully, John McCain is giving a dull, hackish, standard Republican acceptance speech, because otherwise I'd be having an imaginary three-way negotiation between myself, Hillary Clinton and the devil about whether I could vote Republican instead of Clinton.

9:26 p.m.: The MSNBC people disapprove of McCain's speech. It was dull, but the cackling and hooting is a little much. I guess it was the reverse Dean Scream.

9:33 p.m.: Clinton is going to win tonight, and goddammit fuckitall motherfuck, and this is what I get for thinking voters in this country would do the right thing for once. Shit.

10:33 p.m.: NBC New Hampshire for Clinton. Brian Williams calls Sen. Clinton "the new comeback kid." Vomit.

It's on to Assassin's Creed. Good night.

11:20 p.m.: “I listened to you,” said Mrs. Clinton. “And in the process I found my own voice.”

As always with the Clintons, it comes back to narcissism and condescension. I cannot fathom why people support her.

44 comments:

Oops Pow Surprise said...

hay guys what's going on in this liveblog

crimenotes said...

Nothing to report yet! I wanted to put the world on advance notice. No one knows what will happen -- and that's why this is so exciting.

dmbmeg said...

Dude, that is SO not how MMMMBop goes.

crimenotes said...

I didn't think so either, but that's what all they lyric sites have. I thought it was more, "bop ba doo bop, bidda bop ba doo bop, bop ba doo."

Oops Pow Surprise said...

I don't like this "Hillary Clinton not losing by 70 percentage points" deal so far. Fix it!

dmbmeg said...

I think you are right actually. Glad we got that cleared up.

crimenotes said...

Note that I've credited you for the scoop. I'm not sure whether it's an accurate news summary, but still -- you're credited.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

Sadly, the only coherent commentary on the "crying" was offered by Keith Olbermann, far past the point when most sane viewers would have changed channels out of pure irritation.

It's also noteworthy that it was barely covered by local media in New Hampshire, but the big media all went fucking batty over it. Ridiculous behavior over a non-story.

CrimeNotes said...

I thought it was news-ish, not necessarily because she got choked up but because of some of the stuff she said about it: "It was just so touching when this woman said, 'Well, what about you?'" Mrs. Clinton said. "I just don't think about that, I think about what I can do for other people I have spent a lifetime trying to help others; I'm very other-directed. That's maybe why people don't get me in the political world."

I thought that was narcissistic and crazy, and it triggered all kinds of bad Clinton flashbacks.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

It was 17 different kinds of horseshit, because it's been a long time since I've seen such a self-aware, relentlessly on-the-message politician like her. To play this "nobody gets me" card is wildly disingenuous--at least without mentioning that her own tireless electioneering is entirely to blame.

CrimeNotes said...

Agree 100%.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

By the way--here's a link to real-time reporting in NH by town:

http://www.politico.com/nhprimaries/nhmap-popup.html

Manchester is leaning HEAVY to Hillary. Her lead's almost all right there.

I'm interested to see how the rural areas shake out, and I'm not optimistic.

dmbmeg said...

I'M FAMOUS. I GOT A LINK ON COLE SLAW.

Wait, to I have to watch this thing? Cause The Biggest Loser: Couples Edition is on.

dmbmeg said...

Also, this is my 2nd participation in a liveblog this week. How much do I rule?

dmbmeg said...

I also wrote about my night with your PS3.

dmbmeg said...

BRIAN WILLIAMS INTERRUPTED THE BIGGEST LOSER TO ANNOUNCE MCCAIN'S WIN.

I OBJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dmbmeg said...

OK the BL is back. That was close.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

Is it just me or does Joe Scarborough have over 100 teeth?

CrimeNotes said...

And fewer than 100 brain cells.

CrimeNotes said...

Per Wikipedia:

U.S. Census Bureau as New England City and Town Areas (NECTAs). The following is a list of NECTAs in New Hampshire:

* Berlin, NH
* Claremont, NH
* Concord, NH
* Franklin, NH
* Keene, NH
* Laconia, NH
* Lebanon, NH-Hartland, VT
* Manchester, NH
* Nashua, NH Metropolitan Division (part of Boston metropolitan area)
* Portsmouth, NH-ME
* Rochester-Dover, NH-ME

Oops Pow Surprise said...

I like it when the people talk about "large margins," because it reminds me of this.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

Did Pat Robertson say Michigan was "one of the few states" that has seen unemployment rise? Good heavens.

CrimeNotes said...

I would have guessed that she was a Garbage Pail Kid.

CrimeNotes said...

Yeah, I think that's true. Michigan is fucked.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

I think my point is that unemployment is up .5 ppts from its trough, which, in our nation's recorded history, has resulted in a recession 100% of the time. So my qualm is with the term "few."

Michigan itself is indeed fucked.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

Christ. Hillary's up 6.

CrimeNotes said...

Yeah, and following the Politico map, a lot of it is from Manchester and a place called Portchester.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

I like McCain. If it's between Hillary and him, I'm not looking back. I'm glad I caucused as an independent.

CrimeNotes said...

I'm trying not to think about that right now. I'd have to get the phrase, "Justices like Scalia and Thomas" tattooed across my forehead, chest, back, ass, tongue and kneecaps in order to remember why I'd have to vote Democrat.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

The forehead, chest, tongue and kneecaps are understandable. The tramp stamp is just creepy.

CrimeNotes said...

It would be a kind of penance.

Just remind yourself that the presidency isn't the reward for being a good person. If it were, Paul Tsongas would've beaten Clinton in '92 and LBJ never would've been president.

I tell myself as I bite my fist in displeasure.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

I'll call it for Hillary now.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

CrimeNotes said...

I agree.

What a horrible, disappointing night.

Oops Pow Surprise said...

Leave yourself this measure of solitude:

New Hampshire always votes crazy.

Cock D said...

Those two girls with the dude on the top left are pretty hot.

Flop said...

This kind of blows. Not the liveblog. The Hillarymentum.

Not to jump the gun and start sounding like the people wearing Ohio-centric apparel at the table behind me on Monday night, but fucking shitty fuck shitfuck dammit, why do we always fuck ourselves in the ear like this?

Flop said...

To answer your question, I'm guessing that the answers boil down to something like: fear, insecurity, comfort with the "brand" and a touch of discomfort with a black guy who "sounds Muslim."

You know, real intellectual shit.

dmbmeg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CrimeNotes said...

I bet it wasn't anything as pernicious as that -- I think she's just familiar to voters, a strong campaigner, etc. I mean, she's hardly the reactionary choice for someone uncomfortable with a black guy, even though she's doing her best to adopt Giuliani's scare tactics.

I don't want menstruation in the Oval Office any more than you guys.

Not cool, even in jest.

dmbmeg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crunk Raconteur said...

Let's not all go overboard here in turning Barack Obama into the second coming of Bobby Kennedy. Let's remember that this guy is not exactly innocent of my least favorite thing about Democratic leaders, a tendency to just repeat bullshit Republican talking points in order to sound "serious" (in Obama's case, after talking about the desperate need for Social Security "reform" and unnecessary attacks on trial lawyers, we should be hearing from him any day about how the free market will solve global warming and that unions are hurting American workers).

I've already been in one discussion with a Republican where I got "Even Democrat (sic) golden boy Barack Obama thinks Social Security is in crisis" thrown in my face. That shit cannot stand.

CrimeNotes said...

Correct. I think he also supported the bankruptcy reform bill, which is worse than leaving an open door to social security reform.

Crunk Raconteur said...

I was shocked to read that comment about the Bankruptcy Bill, so I went back to check it out (because if Obama HAD supported it, I would consider that reason alone to not support him). Fortunately, both he and Clinton opposed the Bankruptcy Bill (Clinton for some reason didn't vote on final passage, while Obama did and voted "Nay", but on the Bankruptcy Bill, the cloture vote was the ballgame, and Clinton and Obama both voted "Nay" on the cloture vote.)

It should be pointed out, however, that one candidate discussed lately did support the Bankruptcy Bill, voting "Aye" on both the cloture vote and final passage...John McCain.

CrimeNotes said...

Wait, does this mean I was wrong? I'm both relieved and troubled. An hour ago I was walking around to get lunch, thinking about Obama's support of the bankruptcy bill. But I could've sworn that I just somewhere ...

If I'm going to be wrong about something, I'm glad it's this. When Dodd dropped out, I thought I read that Dodd opposed bankruptcy reform despite a banking-heavy state, but that Obama supported it. I guess this makes Obama's worst vote his support for the class action reform act, unless I'm wrong and he didn't support that either.