(Author's Note: This is the first edition of an idea I had while discussing Eurotrip with Flop. Periodically this week I will be expressing my appreciation for things which just don't get their due. I begin with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.)
Does it seem to anybody else that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are unusually important to the American League pennant race for a team that’s sitting 26.5 games back in its division? The creepy, flappy fish have played 29 of their last 41 games against 4 of the AL’s 6 contenders (New York, Boston, Cleveland, and Anaheim. They haven’t played Chicago or Oakland since before the All-Star break), and have 3 games left starting Tuesday in Cleveland. Over that period, since August 12, they are 22-19, and look like they may be frisky next season, right?
Well, maybe not…they are the Devil Rays, after all…
Still, sports’ diametric scheduling opposite to Purdue has the day off today, and we wish them a nice, relaxing day. Oh, and Carl Crawford, I’m sorry for that time in Baltimore when you were standing on first base and I was heckling you for like 20 minutes. I didn’t mean it, I was just trying to make Aubrey Huff laugh (mission accomplished, by the way)…
Why am I being so nice to the Devil Rays, you ask? What, can’t a guy appreciate a team that’s been through a brutal month and a half and wish them well? Why do I have to have an ulterior motive? Okay, fine, there is one thing…
Hey, guys, if it’s not too much trouble, could you do me a favor and lose the next three games? A nation of baseball fans, who think watching the Yankees and the Red Sox again is about as appealing as another ersatz presidential photo op showcasing President Nero’s steadfastitude and resolutacity, are counting on you.
God speed, Devil Rays…
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2 comments:
Unfortunately, anonymous, I'm not interested in Tai Chi, only Chai tea.
So go fuck yourself, you ill-punctuating purveyor of potted meat products.
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