Monday, February 26, 2007

Fun with quotations

Congressmen who willfully take action during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs, and should be arrested, exiled or hanged. -- Abraham Lincoln, as channeled by Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska) last week during debate on the non-binding Iraq war resolution.

How this didn't become a minor outrage -- or even become one of those "weird news" items that get e-mailed around -- I'll never know. But more important is to be prepared for future ones. Here's some more I soon expect to see on the House floor, uttered by Republicans to support their cause.

"The right and true locus of power is not in a House of Burgesses or any such body, but with a moral man who leads alone." -- Thomas Jefferson.


"It befitf all great men, whatever their belief may actually be, to offer their fupport, fweat and tearf to a ftrong leader in a time of war or ftrife." -- George Washington.

"Fuck Spain. We're taking them out." -- Theodore Roosevelt.

"Commerce is the one true method by which our great nation can make itself into a shining cross of gold on a hill, one upon which the rest of the world may gaze upon in awe." -- William Jennings Bryan.

"Het lijkt met het beste dat ik een eigen bed krijg, want ik ben enorm. Ik slaapwandel en soms gil ik in mijn slaap. Als dat teveel stoort sleept ik voortaan elke avond wel een matras naar de huiskamer." -- Martin Van Buren.

6 comments:

CrimeNotes said...

The Jefferson quote was so authentic-sounding that I actually googled it.

You didn't make it sufficiently clear that the Lincoln quote is a lie.

Flop said...

I think CSB's readers can figure out that the idea of Lincoln advocating summary execution is kind of unikely. (It's a bit removed from Habeas suspension.)

Apparently, it's only slightly more ludicrous than the idea of Jefferson advocating for a powerful, unitary executive.

If I've hoodwinked a scholar such as yourself, this post is a failure. I will endeavor to include in my next post photos of pretty laides in their underwear.

Crunk Raconteur said...

Flop, don't you understand that we're at war? Why do you hate America?

CrimeNotes said...

Or Teddy Roosevelt in a thong, holding a crazy-looking cat.

Flop said...

I couldn't find that, but how would you feel about Herbert Hoover in one of those old-timey bathing suits, clasping a copy of the Glass-Steagall Act to his chest?http

Flop said...

Also, I'm still waiting for our Amsterdam correspondent (and our many Netherlands-based readers) to chime in about President Van Buren's comments.