Thursday, November 17, 2005

Michigan + Ohio State = Love

Where, you ask, will I be watching the Michigan-Ohio State game?

At a wedding pre-party. Duh.

The bride and groom -- both Michigan alumni -- have reserved a hotel ballroom for an afternoon screening of the Michigan-OSU game. This is a high-risk, high-reward proposition, but they didn't have any choice, short of holding the wedding in Ann Arbor.

A few things are guaranteed: I'll upchuck on myself sometime in the fourth quarter, if not out of glee or trauma, then from general tension. I'll also scream about my balls. Loudly and repeatedly. The groom will denounce Lloyd's playcalling at the reception, perhaps one-on-one, but more likely with a mic in hand.

During the Michigan-OSU game eight years ago, the bride, one of the bridesmaids, and I learned a painful lesson in why daytime intoxication is a bad idea. (Nothing nefarious!) A televised Michigan loss was followed by an argument with a record store clerk about the price of U2's greatest hits CD, followed shortly thereafter by the now-bride-to-be taking a nasty fall. Later that day I woke from a nap and got sick. One of us received emergency medical treatment -- guess who.

I immediately suspected that in exactly eight years, I'd watch those gals in a wedding.

How do I feel about this? Short of going to Ann Arbor, it's the best environment. I'll be with old friends. If the result is bad, we can trash our hotel rooms. If it's good, the marriage will be blessed by a power greater than any religion. They run the risk of having a pack of surly drunks onhand, but the date made that inevitable.

There's the issue of having a wedding on the most emotionally intense day of the year. When I weep during the ceremony, it will have nothing to do with vows and everything to do with quarterbacking.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh, man, that IS high-risk, high-reward, but at least it will be fan-base homogenous. I happened to be at a wedding on the night of the Ohio State-Texas game where the crowd broke down as such:

55% Texas fans
44.5% Unconcerned
.5% Me

And the worst part is that we weren't able to watch the game (original wedding plans called for a separate bar with TVs for those who wanted to watch the game, but that was called off when the entire city originally slated to hold the wedding was destroyed 2 weeks earlier), so I had to rely on text messages and phone calls to stay abreast of the action.

I guess what I'm saying is this: at least this time, when Michigan loses, you won't be the only disappointed person in a room full of jubilant Texans. So that's a bright side...