Friday, June 08, 2007

Gilded Age II: Liquid-coal-powered bugaloo

I've kind of assumed for the past couple of years that we're living in one of those ages that students generations from now will struggle to wrap their heads around. I find myself at idle times wondering exactly which part the high school students of the 2060s will find the most mind-boggling.

So here are the guesses of one dumbass as to the questions of American teenagers in a future U.S. history class while reviewing for the unit on fin-de-siecle America (the one with George W. Bush, not Theodore Roosevelt):
  • So everyone just bought stock that had anything to do with the internet? Jeez.
  • He told everyone to go shopping?
  • Wait, so what did Iraq have to do with it?
  • So did he actually think we won then, or was he just trying to convince everyone? And it worked?
  • Wait, so they re-elected him?
  • So let me get this straight: The White House had thrown people in jail without cause, tortured people, suspended habeas corpus for the first time since Lincoln, was spying on its own citizens, established secret prisons around the world and tried to turn the Department of Justice into a nest of loyalist apparatchiks and it was the plots of the previous night's TV shows in the newspapers?
  • Oh yeah, her too. Who was she again? Why did people care?
  • Seriously? No wonder ...


Mr. Shain said...

i vote for: "so what did Iraq have to do with it?" i also think that the "global warming isn't really happening" bit will seem quite ridiculous in 2060 when cleveland oh has atlantic shoreline.

blythe said...

hey, that's probably the best thing that could ever happen to cleveland.