Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Why my friends and I are easily distracted

Because one snarky post on a political blog about the inadvertent self-parody that came from an article in The Washington Post about the Romney brothers' blog can turn into the following IM exchange (some editing for clarity and to make myself sound cooler than I am has taken place):

crunk raconteur: "While my Dad and our entire family are thrilled that momentum is on our side, we know that change happens fast in campaigns and you can never rest on your laurels. At this critical time, we need all the support we can get to ride the “Mitt-mentum” all the way to the White House."
crunk raconteur: um...didn't anybody tell this douche that the construction "(candiates first name)-mentum" doesn't exactly have a large track record of success?

Yeah, but remember Abe-mentum in 1864?

crunk raconteur:
right, but Adlai-mentum didn't go so smoothly in 1956

Estes-mentum was a sleeping giant that, alas never roused itself.
flop: Remember the heady times of Rutherford B.-mentum?

crunk raconteur:
and let's not dwell on the disaster of 1984's Fritz-mentum.

Fritzmentum! It sounds like the 112th element. Remember how Grover-mentum II: 24 Skiddoo was an even bigger hit than the original Grover-mentum?


CrimeNotes said...

How about this sophisticated exchange (politically incorrect statements omitted):

7:08 PM me: You should give the [redacteds] a buttload of crabs tomorrow.
Flop: What if I brought a bushel basket of live crabs to [redacted]'s wedding and let them loose at the reception.
I was thinking a nice bottle of champagne or something.
Or a Home Depot gift card.
If I kept the crabs on some towels soaked in methamphetamine, they'd probably scuttle about like crazy.
I think drug-crazed, wackily scuttling crabs would liven up any celebration.
me: What about crabs on acid?
Flop: They'd pinch the air, thinking they were seeing delicious minnows swim by.
7:12 PM And turn in circles, their chitinious legs chattering like castanets on the tile floor.
And they'd sing Hava Nagila in their gurgly crab voices.
me: We've just written the script for a chilling public service announcement.
"This is a crab."
Flop: hee hee
me: "This is a crab on drugs."
7:13 PM Flop: This is a crab getting boiled in water with old bay.
Maybe I'll stop by chinatown and get them some crabs.
Then we can have races.
Bring some stickers with numbers on them.
We'll gamble.
7:14 PM me: And then eat them all, yes.
Flop: Yes.
But not until after the pinching and bubble-blowing contest.
7:17 PM me: I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Enjoy being retarded.

Todd said...

$10 says McCain pulls out a "John 3:16" type slogan.

flop said...

I thought you were going to make that its own post when you wrote extensively about wedding presents.

crimenotes said...

Was that directed at me or at Todd? Why would I post about wedding presents?

Flop said...

You wouldn't. Unless I got someone a buttload of crabs as a wedding present. In which case you would feel obligated.

Maybe that will be the next birthday present I get someone.

Cock D said...

At first i was worried about your genital health; but then i realized that you (probably) wouldnt be enjoing carnal knowlege with some newlyweds and then i realized you were talking about food.

context - whew!