A sophisticated gentleman blogger named Jebus H. Christ gets the second honor with an account that begins innocently enough:
What a great girl! Eyes like a fawn, smile like a demon, face of an angel. Minute I saw her, I knew I needed more. So I went after her, which is something I don't do. Full-court press style. I made it a point to always be excellent in her presence, I didn't talk to skanks in front of her, I even called her, on the phone. I mean, I was really going all out for this girl. Well, of course, when faced with the prospect of getting this, she immediately (OK, it was like 2 months) asked me out.This is not some boy-meets-girl story about kittens or roses or an innocent misunderstanding that leads to a falling out. A sip of liquor, and it explodes into glorious, destructive bedlam.
Telling any more would ruin the fun. Read it.
Update: It gets even better. The "I'm on Fire" series, Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.
3 comments:
also: never feed crimenotes long island iced tea.
This is calling out for Orson Swindle of EDSBS to elucidate his theory that brown liquor = felony fuel.
I actually found him via EDSBS -- which is getting increasingly slap-happy in the off-season. I can relate. Lately when I think about football season I get emotionally riled for no reason. Last night I just started booking a bunch of flights to DTW because they were inexpensive and it sounded like a good idea.
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