Requisite weather-related bitching

I only eat cold cereal and ice cream. I only drink water and Peach Snapple. I go to bed at 10 p.m. The only time I've had beer in the past 10 days, I was drunk as a skunk (smoking like a porcupine) after three pints. I would like to know whether that was caused in part by the unbearable heat and the perspiration it inspires. I don't want to be outside. I don't want to stay in the apartment. I bought an air conditioner even though I'm cheap like that, which is helping, but not enough. I have no attention span. I have no motivation. I will not work on Cole Slaw Blog at home because the laptop feels too hot. I will not work on Cole Slaw Blog at work because duties call. (9 a.m.-6 p.m. only) I am unhappy with living in New York for the first time. I cannot wait for football season. I cannot wait for more snowball fights with strangers on Rivington Street. I am extra-whiny. Fuck this weather. It is hell.