You know what's great? Gooseberries.

Every time I walk past a TV tuned to the Larry King show, I always have to stop and stare. I'm transfixed and I don't know why. I know he's a huge name, and he's usually interviewing someone who's a major "get." I also heard he had a legendary column in USA Today, in which he just wrote down stuff that just appeared in his head. Wow. I'd sure like to get paid for that, because if there's one thing I can do well, it's run my fool mouth about useless, useless shit.

For example. I just got some gooseberries from FreshDirect. (Yes, we have FreshDirect in Queens.) You know what gooseberries are? All kinds of tart. I think these things would make great jelly or preserves, but right now, they're all about the tart. And they look funny, too. They've got the little remnants of the flower on one end and a tiny stem at the other, making them look like miniature punchballs of tart. You remember those, right? (I know HRHQ2K5 does.) Anyway, just taking the gooseberries out of my fridge made me think of all that you've just read.

In an effort to become the nation's next super interviewer, and to marry six times or whatever, here are some random thoughts ... to expand upon the gooseberries theme.

Good seats. Am I the only one who loves that little spot on the R-train cars? You know, the one where you can sit facing forward or backward, but you can put your knee up on the side of the seats in front of you? As much as I like those, I think I dislike sitting sidesaddle (as you have to on basically every other line now). Especially on the older E-trains, where if you cross your ankle over your knee while you're reading, you run the risk of toppling over when the driver hits the brakes. Where's Steve Dunne and his Supertrain when you need him? ... You'd think the ESPN producers get Cole Slaw Blog on their blackberries. They just put up a graphic for longest World Series droughts. The only way it gets worse than being an Indians fan is if you're a Cubs or White Sox fan. Of course, they might have had something to take their minds off the pain recently. Or maybe this guy. ... I'm not hungry now, but I know I'm going to be soon. I wonder what I should have? I've got some egg salad. You know what else is great? Egg salad and bacon on white bread. Lunch of champions. ... I realized the other day that my friend's dog from when we were in high school was just like Millhouse on The Simpsons. Don't ask me how a dog is like a cartoon character. Just trust me on this one. ... I'm thinking of switching jobs. But I can't decide if I should do something that feels responsible, like moving and taking a promotion or do something random, like moving to another country for a while. ... Two-run homer, Travis Hafner. Do I think this is anything more than a tease? No. Can I look away? No. Am I going to live-blog a baseball game? Definitely not. I'll let you know what happens though. ... Man, these gooseberries sure are tart. ... If my co-blogger were to make a straight-kinda gay-definitely gay chart, like the one the Stylin Section did, I'm pretty sure he'd put bathroom hand towels in the "kinda gay" section. Maybe it'd be "Hand drying apparatus: Straight: Jeans. Kinda Gay: Hand towels. Definitely Gay: Cabana boy removes thong, hands it to you." ... Victor Martinez just homered off Keith Foulke. It's 9-8 now in the eighth. Why can't I just believe? ... I really need to purchase the Arrested Development DVDs. That's such a great show. The more I think about The Comeback, the more I think it's going to disappoint. I'm saving Sunday's episode, which will probably be make-or-break for me. Also, please nobody ruin Entourage for me. ... A friend went to a wedding in California this weekend. She said it was a little cold. You know that means it was perfect, if you're a guy. Cute girls always are cold. They need heat rocks, like Jub-Jub or something. ... Jhonny Peralta just doubled to make it 10-9. Yes, the Indians gave up a leadoff homer in the top of the 9th. Of course they did. Grady Sizemore just lined out to right. Yes, lined out to right field. Down to their last out, it's all up to Coco Crisp. ... And he flies out to center. 10-9 loss. ... Fuckin' gooseberries.