Sunday, August 28, 2005

College football countdown: the preseason media

  • Today, The New York Times predicts that Michigan will win the national championship. This might be cause for enthusiasm, until you consider the source.
  • Kirk Herbstreit predicted that Ohio State will beat USC to win the national championship. His prediction can be attributed to an excess of furtive masturbation.
  • Speaking of Herbstreit, NCAA 2006 on Playstation 2 has already made me sick of him: "This kid's a goodlooking back. Let's see if they go to him again."
  • Trev Alberts is a Republican. He makes sweeping, extreme statements and can't be bothered to support his opinions with pesky irritants like fact and analysis.
  • Other guesses at the political leanings of ESPN commentators: Herbstreit is a Republican; Mark May and Chris Fowler are Democrats; Lee Corso is a swing voter.
  • I never root against a Big Ten team in non-conference play. That rule will be broken for the Texas-Ohio State game. A cocky Buckeye is like a retarded midget with a Napoleon complex, and nothing would be more annoying than the dot-connecting that would come with an Ohio State win over Texas. (No offense to the retarded midgets.) Besides, I've liked Texas ever since Major Applewhite.

6 comments:

winston said...

HOOK 'EM.

Crunk Raconteur said...

The best analogy in CSB history has now been made. Lee Corso is the personification of the great American "swing voter" that I hate so much.

"Dot-connecting?" Whatever do you mean?

CrimeNotes said...

Not that I'd necessarily begrudge it, but if Ohio State beats Texas, a theme all season will be about Ohio State's win against Michigan last year and its win over the team that beat Michigan in the Rose Bowl. (Not to mention Texas being an outstanding team in its own right.) Ohio State beats Texas and they'll be second only to USC in hype.

HOOK 'EM.

Crunk Raconteur said...

Perhaps, but as much as I'd like to believe that, my guess is that the theme that will emerge from Ohio State's victory will be the annual big game collapse of Texas (the chokiest bunch of chokers that ever choked)...

I suppose I should apologize to the yellow-and-navy fans out there (Flop is seething reading this...which, of course, is why I say it). The Rose Bowl marks the only time in my whole life I wanted Michigan to win a game. As much as I hate them, I was more irritated with the overrating of the Big 12 that was going on last year, and I was hoping for a bowl season theme of "Big 12 Comeuppance". Michigan and Cal blew that for me...although USC, Tennessee, and Ohio State acquitted themselves nicely.

Crunk Raconteur said...

Also, something to consider for Texas-OSU (I happen to be going to a wedding of a huge Texas fan that day...of course, that wedding is supposed to be in New Orleans, so who knows) is that Ohio State will have an advantage against them that was a disadvantage to Michigan: Troy Smith (or, as I call him, Mini-Vince).

Not to say Smith is as good as Young (he's clearly not), but he's the most Vince-like QB out there these days, and Texas probably benefited quite a bit from the recent game film of OSU-Mich right before the bowl game, and on the flipside, the OSU D goes against mini-Vince in practice every day.

Should be interesting.

winston said...

i wanna see lee corso running bevo around herbstreit in big, maniacal circles, hooting like a fucking chimpanzee. that, and a good day for mike hart, will make me happy.