Sunday, September 16, 2007

New hot garbage on HBO

A synthesized script of HBO's Tell Me You Love Me:
WHITE WOMAN (annoyed): Why aren't you interested in my feelings?
WHITE MAN (annoyed): Are you kidding? I fucking love you.
WHITE WOMAN (annoyed): Act like you mean it.
WHITE MAN (horny): Let's make love, romantically.
PAN TO PASTY MALE ASS. IT THRUSTS.
WHITE WOMAN (annoyed): Do you think about the sales clerk at 7-11 when we fuck?
WHITE MAN (annoyed): Uh-oh! Not this fight again!
PAN TO CRYING LADY, WITH PASTY MALE ASS IN FOREGROUND.

FOLK EMO BEGINS TO PLAY.
WHITE WOMAN (annoyed): Feelings fucking matter, too.
WHITE MAN (insecure): Is my ass fucking edgy enough for HBO?
WHITE WOMAN (annoyed): It's our "intimacy" that makes this fucking edgy. That, and lighting.
WHITE MAN (insecure): I fucking love intimacy.
WHITE WOMAN (annoyed): Let's fucking quarrel some more! Fuck, why don't we fucking quarrel some fucking more? Fuck!

PAN TO PASTY MALE ASS.

WHITE MAN (insecure): I can't believe they canceled John From Cincinnati for this shit.
WHITE MAN and WHITE WOMAN (dejected, in unison): Furtive masturbation.
WHITE WOMAN (annoyed): Everything is fucked.


CAMERA PANS TO PASTY MALE ASS.

FADE OUT

6 comments:

Cock D said...

Two words: Basic Cable.

dmbmeg said...

I don't want to see the word "thrusts" or any conjugation of the verb on this blog, ever, ever, again.

That is all.

blythe said...

so, you watched it too. we both know you've set up the TiVo season pass for it...

Mr. Shain said...

it's like you've been watching my parents through the window.

CrimeNotes said...

In HBO's defense, the pasty male ass is probably edgier than a tan male ass.

cock d: FX > HBO.
dmbmeg: Madame, you are in no position to lodge such complaints.
blythe: Yes, excited for more quarreling about feelings.
shain: You should videotape them and sell it to HBO.

Mr. Shain said...

i've tried, but i cant keep the camera steadyl while vomiting.