Thursday, September 13, 2007

What the hell is Facebook?

I thought it might be nice to try this new thing that gets on the cover of news magazines and that assorted friends and acquaintances celebrate.

But I didn't understand what I was doing, and half my gmail contacts got invited to be my Facebook friend, including people who were on e-mail lists to bachelor parties that I didn't attend, and several names that I simply did not recognize. (Apparently gmail saves contact information for everybody on every chain. I think I have 10,000 contacts. Technology is a bitch.)

Then you get on the goddamn thing and are asked to disclose all kinds of information (I almost clicked that I was interested in meeting "Males" because I thought they were asking for my gender, not the gender of strangers to meet on the internet) and then immediately I started getting e-mails like, "I can't believe you're on Facebook. WTF?"

"I know," I replied. "I don't understand the point. This isn't going to work. I don't want to explain myself to the public."

Five minutes later, the Facebook profile was erased, and now all kinds of people have e-mail invitations to be my Facebook "friend." They'll wake up excited to see the message. Their feelings may be hurt when they see I've withdrawn, and they'll be disappointed that I can't be their Facebook "friend," but most of them have suffered worse at my hands and I'm sure they'll recover just fine.

Moral of the story: Don't do Facebook.

11 comments:

dmbmeg said...

I still have the page of your temporary page up on my computer...I can't bare to close it.

I know if I close it, part of you will be lost to me forever.

[single tear]

dmbmeg said...

correction: the first "page" is supposed to read "tab"

blythe said...

what is this "facebook" you speak of? i thought everyone was on friendster. no?

Flop said...

CrimeNotes hectored me for MONTHS to join fucking Friendster. Now all of a sudden he becomes Andy Rooney?

Mr. Shain said...

even i got your facebook evite. as if...

blythe said...

what? shain gets a facebook invite and i don't? team flop!

evil girl said...

c-notes won't fucking text, but he sends me a goddamn invitation to be his facebook buddy. whore.

CrimeNotes said...

Shain got no such invitation. He's a known liar.

As to Flop, you'll recall that years ago we were all excited by the novelty of Friendster. We posted fake photos and lies.

Blythe: Chill.

Evil: I don't see the connection ("CrimeNotes doesn't like radishes, but he went to a goddamn football game.") However, I recognize that this Facebook experiment is a disaster of the highest order.

JHC said...

Why would you have Facebook when you have this lovely blog here? Everyone you want to talk to comes here, and even better, they have to talk about you.
Facebook is so LY.

crimenotes said...

Jebus -- A mentally ill Asian girl told me that Facebook is tits. Guess what? It's retarded.ht

Outandabout said...

With all respect to my Facebook buddies, but to all those who ‘request’ to be my friend because you like My Profile I say: let’s not get carried away here. I usually don’t make friends because we once had the same boss, share a Hotmail contact or because, spare me, you “poke” me. P - e - lease.

If you want to be my friend, come and meet me in real life. Let’s have a chat. Err, down at the local pub I mean. Yours or mine. Or join me on next weekends’ bushwalk around the Inner West Bay!

What is so social about Facebook, or MySpace, or Bebo or Linkedin anyway? Social. Noun: a party of people assembled to promote sociability and communal activity. Adjective: 1. marked by friendly companionship with others; "a social cup of coffee";2. living together or enjoying life in communities or organized groups; "human beings are social animals"; "spent a relaxed social evening". (Source: World Reference. http://www.wordreference.com/definition/social)

The good news is that there’s a bit of a counter reaction happening. In Australia for example, where a relatively new site called Getalife.com.au is connecting people to meet for a realcup of coffee. Or for a game of soccer at Centennial Park, or a games night at Chris’ place. Or a poke at mine ;-)

Simply put, Getalife.com.au offers easy to use tools for people to connect based around sporting, cultural or recreational activities. The activity might be a one-off, like finding a couple of buddies for a kayaking trip up Brisbane River. Others get together regularly, like reading groups. If members can’t find what they’re looking for, they can create a group or activity of their own and invite others to join.

In Australia at least, it seems that Getalife has struck a chord in the hearts and minds of ordinary city slickers who are not seeking to build virtual friendships by ONLY spending time on a computer. Instead, they are people look for alternative, contemporary and independent ways to connect with people in real life, get involved in a wide range of activities, meet people and find friendships (or even love) on their own terms.”
In the age of pokes, cyber kisses, spam and the tons of sleaze and phony member profiles dumped on us, Getalife offers a refreshing alternative to get you personally invited by real members to real events. Not because you’re on an bulk mail list, or because you fit the profile of some sales campaign, but simply because the organiser of the event enjoys your company... in the flesh!