1.) The wrong side of schaudenfreude is nastier than expected.
Unendurably painful. One thing to experience an unpleasant loss, another to see the thing you love most become a laughingstock. The families of Britney Spears, Andy Dick and George W. Bush deserve compassion.2.) If you think you might assault a stranger, it's best to go home.
The good-natured, not-undeserved ribbing from strangers in Colorado shirts: That was not welcome. The rage and hatred, they took the back seat to risk-aversion, embarrassment and pussiness. A few minutes later, someone innocently brushed against my back. I wheeled around, planning to slug. That's when it was time to go home.3.) It's better to attend a school without a football program.
Assaulting friends, of course, is to be expected and completely acceptable.
What would life have been like at the University of Chicago or Carleton College? Less fun, maybe, but I'd feel better about myself on more mornings. Steer children toward pissy private schools or the local community college. They should not know this kind of voluntary heartache.4.) The rest of the world actually hates Michigan, and likes it to suffer.
See Lesson No. 1; see also Bret Musberger; ESPN. It isn't personal. That doesn't make it easier. The beast demands blood, and the Lohan of college football provides it.5.) It's best to have diverse interests.
New possibilities include: watercolors; a kitten; knife-throwing; joining the 4-H; oxycontin; survivalism; target-shooting; going on reality TV; and crochet. Ideally something where an entire calendar year doesn't turn to dust in 3-1/2 hours.