This made me laugh so hard that tears were rolling down my face in the office. It even got CrimeNotes -- a noted office sourpuss -- to laugh out loud at his place of business.
The best part, I think, is the contribution from the blogger at the end. The reformulations are limited only by the number of Division I-A schools and idiomatic expressions of indifference or resignation. And raptors, I suppose.
Personally, I would go with Washington State, A Steller's Sea Eagle and "Who'da thunk it?" But that's just me.
[I read about this on Deadspin.]