Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Don't call it a comeback, but who the fuck cares. Blogging is the tobacco of words. The voices won't stop, like when psychics meet pies.

One of the Alpha Betas in Revenge of the Nerds is named Danny Burke. Revenge of the Nerds played on Fox Movie Channel tonight. In the closing credits, when Burke is in the Atoms lockerroom wearing makeup and a blond wig, he resembles former Notre Dame receiver Jeff Samardzija.

You're a pretty pretty pretty pretty such a pretty girl

An actor named Matt Salinger portrayed Burke. Matt Salinger was born in Windsor, Vermont on February 13, 1960. A leap year! He attended Phillips Academy at Andover. Impressive! His other acting credits include Baby Fever (1994) and Let the Devil Wear Black (1999).

An actor named Matt Salinger portrayed Burke. Matt's father is J.D. Salinger. Having attended America's most elite prep school and then starring as a bullying athlete on a football team, Matt lived a daily revenge-dream against Holden Caulfield. Being the son of J.D. Salinger is difficult, and playing a supporting (albeit notable) role in Revenge of the Nerds would be like Jesus's kid being a competent but obscure (albeit notable) hypnotist who tricks pilgrims into acting like chickens in a thriving club on the outskirts of Golgotha.

*Blogging is bad for me, and I shouldn't be doing this. I should quit blogging. I should quit a lot of things. But most of all, I should just quit you. The original post on what happens when psychics meet pies.


chumly said...

You have something to say and it was good. Keep up the good work.

crimenotes said...

Thank you, sir or madam. Eight days ago I announced a retirement/hiatus from blogging having concluded that the preceding 2 1/2 years were plenty, and that I need to find more constructive pursuits. The Jesus-chicken-Salinger-Samardzija paradigm seemed too important to ignore.

dmbmeg said...


[cut to crimenotes alone in his apartment, mean mugging his computer, defiantly pumping his fist in the air, screaming, "I wish I knew how to quit you!"]

crimenotes said...

This will continue only if the posts are short, impersonal, and don't use the first-person pronoun.

dmbmeg said...

Impersonal? This post made me feel closer to you already.

I just just looked him up on imdb.com. He was in a Steven Seagal film. Excellent.

PS: my word verification was oozez

Jaime said...


Where's my meme, motherfucker?!!

J/k, j/k. But seriously - you need some more constructive pursuits? I'll show you some more constructive pursuits.

Seriously. I will.

CrimeNotes said...

I have more constructive pursuits, and this stands in my way.

Cock D said...

Yay! Crimenotes makes a triumphant return after an exclusive eight day tour of Europe, Scandinavia and the sub-continent.

Thank you for not quitting on us - even if you do scale back and cease using first person pronouns.

evil girl said...

fucking pussy.

dmbmeg said...

There is not a more constructive pursuit in all the land than entertaining me during my work day.

PS--New Pornographers? Do we get a review?

dmbmeg said...

Also, evil girl--
Couldn't have said it better myself. I like you.

JHC said...

Reading this blog, I've seen a lot of changing, in the way you feel about bloggers, and in the way bloggers feel about you. In here, there were two guys writing, but I guess that's better than twenty million. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!

crimenotes said...

I'd call it love/hate, but it's more of a mild affection/occasional discomfort dynamic.

Thanks guys. I should never make strong statements because I never stick to them. Hopefully 1-2 posts per week will be enough for me to quiet the voices in my head.

dmbm: Evil Girl would kill you in your sleep for sport. Compliment her, and she will smell weakness.

Todd said...

I'd give up blogging for smoking.

Welcome back!

crimenotes said...

Back after eight days!

Thanks. I'm waiting for an intervention wherein people steal my cigs and flag this blog as objectionable en masse.