But the Times is not alone in its affront to journalism today. Newspapers in Detroit apparently sold their front pages as ad space, and more and more advertisers are yanking ads when they don't like the news. Maybe this Stylin' brand of inoffensive content is the next step for journalism. Of course, this strikes us as roughly similar to calling seppuku the next logical step for the Samurai. (Or, as my co-blogger asserts, Ninjas.) Let's see what decadence looks like this week ...
Mark It Down, and They Will Come
This week's Critical Shopper takes place at an outlet mall upstate, but don't worry -- it's upscale! Alex Kuczynski is initially skeptical of the concept, but her need for sensible wedge heels wins out. Still it's not only an outlet mall, it's also not located in any district in which the packing of meat once took place. So the count is 0-2 from the get-go.
Why waste two and a half hours of my life traveling there and back from Manhattan? On my deathbed I would like to be able to say I read Pushkin in the original Russian, not that I spent 12,458 hours in the pursuit of shopping.But Boris Godunov can wait. There's stuff to buy! After learning where our intrepid correspondent parked and a brief lesson in "mall taxonomy" we're off!
There was Barneys, Celine, Loro Piana, Etro, Versace, Gucci. Generally speaking outlets offer discounts on overstocked merchandise or goods that are a season or two old. When you're talking Judith Leiber minaudières or Loro Piana cashmere blankets, a season behind is a concept without meaning. Other items, like last year's Prada raffia linen pumps, are so identifiable by season they become worthless - to a certain consumer; you know who you are - after two wearings.Oh, how true this is. There are purely theoretical particles that are longer-lived than the in-style window for those Prada pumps. By the way, in case you were wondering what a minaudière is (we sure as hell were):
The minaudière, a staple of the socialite wardrobe, is comically expensive on Madison Avenue. (It gets its name, by the way, from the French verb minauder, to smirk or to act smugly.) Here a novelty minaudière in the shape of a koala bear was $2,500, rather than its original $3,600. A clutch in alligator was $1,200, rather than $3,680.Such bargains! But wait, there's more! Kuczynski also finds "destiny" in a $975 dress. Also piled into the cart: a $339 handbag, two more dresses (price not given) and a denim jacket which we are informed was "practically free." Unfortunately, this is not a particularly helpful piece of information coming from someone who makes $975 impulse buys.
But there's no time to ponder this. There's still the issue of those sensible wedges. And I'm happy to inform everyone that there's a happy coda to this bit of retail porn. Our shopper found her sensible wedges ... and "at $110, they were about 75 percent off retail. Consumer nirvana."
Yes, it is. Thank you, New York Times!
Loud, Proud, Unabridged: It Is Too Reading!
Some people like to listen to audiobooks instead of reading them, but take umbrage when people suggest they didn't read the book. Well, guess what? If you listened to the book, you didn't read it. Don't call me an oppressor because you couldn't be bothered to buy a $5 copy of Dubliners. Are people who listen to books familiar with the work? Sure. Can they talk about them with other people? Probably, assuming they weren't like this guy:
David Lipsky, another New York writer and frequent dog walker, said he often "shuffles" music on his iPod, and has similarly come to enjoy jumping among chapters of, say, James Joyce, Martin Amis and Al Franken as he circles the block.Summary judgement: Listening to a book is almost like reading it, unless you start talking about Portrait of Rush Limbaugh as a Young Man and Big, Fat Idiot. Also, people will find any reason to perceive a slight.
Decline and Fall of Helmut Lang
Apparently, there once was a man who stood astride the fashion world like a mighty Colossus. He begat "prestige denim" and the custom of charging $200 or more for jeans. He gave us designer T-shirts. And "so powerful was his creative leadership that when he said he would show his collections in Manhattan ahead of European rivals, most American designers followed suit, and New York Fashion Week was permanently rescheduled."
The mind reels. Anyway, now things aren't so hot for Helmut. Honestly, my eyes glazed over after that. I'm sure he's doing OK. He certainly seems as if he'll be fine. And if someday he croaks and allows a snowglobe with a miniature fashion show inside to fall from his hand, we will feel as bad for him as we can feel for someone who was wildy successful and brought the world $200 jeans and fashion T-shirts.
I'll turn this treadmill around!
Another insight from the Stylin' section, where nothing is too obvious to be an 18-inch story. Apparently, people are inconsiderate, sometimes even at the gym. This article was a compendium of behavior that irritates Cole Slaw Blog, both at the gym and elsewhere. Thankfully for all concerned, I can't afford to work out at Sports Club/LA or Equinox, so my habit of wearing gym clothes more than one day in a row won't offend Stylin' section readers. Of course, so will my habit of not going to the gym, but I digress.
Online Shopper: Bargain Hunters Stalk the Bluefly
I was going to say this is notable because it's not as stupid and obvious as most Online Shopper articles. But, well, any "news" article about shopping online is necessarily going to be pretty obvious and boring. Apparently some people have discovered that they need to be aggressive about checking this one website for updates. And they tend to find what they want. Take heed, Stylin' nation. Those Marc Jacobs jeans won't buy themselves while you're taking a long lunch at Cipriani downtown.
In other Stylin' news, the kids at New York's High School of Fashion Industries put on the best high school fashion show the Stylin' Section has ever seen, there are lots of different kinds of nuthuggers to buy and pretty ladies like long hair, even when they're over 30.
Also, Stephanie Rosenbloom graces us with more news from the world of retail. There are some stores in the Hamptons, and if you were debating that trip to Italy, here's something to put you over the top: A Fendi store housed in a 16th century palace. Thanks, Stephanie Rosenbloom!
P.S.: To whoever it was at The New York Times who googled the lovely Stephanie Rosenbloom's name and found our humble world wide weblog, welcome. We abhor the Stylin' Section and all it stands for, but we welcome you as readers, and seek to offer coleslaw and a better way of life.
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